The rest of Jonathan's story and a little coming home giggle.

FINALLY!!! I am able to blog about the rest of Jonathan’s story. I’d like to tell you the rest of what happened as well as coming home and the kids’ reaction to him. I think I last left off with his breathing being a little bit fast and them saying they may have to delay his discharge if it didn’t come down. Well, as I mentioned I struggled with this the most of anything it seemed. The next morning as I was waking up I began thinking about Jonathan’s breathing again, and I just felt like the Lord spoke to me, “Danielle, I’ve already taken care of it.” So from the time I got up whenever my mind would start to think about it as I was getting ready I would just say out loud, “The Lord has already taken care of it!” As I drove all the way to Sanford, I would just say that over and over and began to thank Him for it. No matter what report they were going to give me I just knew that I was prepared in knowing that the Lord had already taken care of it, and I didn’t need to fret about it. When I got there I had forgotten about it and I decided to hold Jonathan and just cuddle and rock him since I could do that now that he was in a crib.

Jonathan in his crib at Sanford

As I was rocking him I was looking at the breathing number and it was totally below the number they wanted it below the whole time. I was so excited. Again, I hadn’t asked how his breathing was or anything and didn’t hear anything about it until there was a shift change and one nurse was informing the other nurse about Jonathan. She said to her, “Well, I’ve been putting that his breathing rate is normal every now and then it spikes a tiny bit but it’s pretty normal now.” It was so encouraging to hear and at that point I realized I had forgotten all about asking someone about it until I heard them conversing. And it was really special to me that the Lord had spoken that to my heart beforehand as well.

So basically, from the time they took the ventilator out Jonathan just made huge leaps! He was able to get circumcised there and slept through the whole thing!! He also nursed wonderfully and is my best nurser yet! He was able to be discharged on Sunday and it was great! I had two more doctor’s comment on his quick recovery. One doctor said, “We are all just so surprised and talking about his quick recovery. He was a pretty sick little boy when he got here and he just really turned around.” And every time they would say something like this I was able to give God all the glory. I would tell them that that was exactly what we prayed for and how God was working in him. I don’t know what they thought, but if God was going to get glory from this I was going to take every opportunity given to me to share about Him. It was so funny because to us a week seemed painfully long. But to them a week was so quick. Over and over, they kept saying how usually something like that took so much more time. We just praise the Lord over all of it and are so thankful that the desire of our hearts was met in that it was a quicker recovery than normal and that the doctors and nurses were amazed at his progress. GLORY TO GOD! THANK YOU JESUS!

Discharge day felt like it took forever but finally Jonathan and I were headed home! The minute they took the last cord off my baby I felt such freedom and joy! The whole way home all I could do was just thank the Lord for his goodness in all this and was so overjoyed that I was finally getting to go home. I must admit though…it was the longest trip from Fargo EVER!!! I came home to quite the mess but I didn’t care. I was just thankful that Daddy was able to take such good care of the kids for a couple of days.

This is what happens when Mommy is gone for a week!

It was nice though because the kids were all napping when I got home and Daddy got to hold Jonathan for the first time without all his wires and cords attached. When the kids woke up we had quite the interesting time. It was precious really. They were introduced to him in the order they woke up from their naps. Isaac got to hold him first and he said things like, “Hello baby Jonathan. Welcome to the family! You’re part of our family now.” It was really sweet.

Then Luke held him and would point to his different body parts saying the names as he did so. When we took him off his lap he got mad and said, “HOLD IT!!!” It was kind of funny. (We didn't get a picture though)

 Then Gracie girl woke up and she loved it as well. She too said, “Hello baby Jonathan. Welcome to our family. I’m your big sister.” It was really cute.

Then came the funniest thing. Grace (4½) says to me, “Mommy, can I feed baby Jonathan?” I said, “Well if I ever give him a bottle you can help me feed him. But Mommy is going to feed him with her baby feeders.” Isaac (6) very innocently says, “Well can I help hold them up?” At this point Chris and I both turned our heads as quick as we could because we were dying with laughter and didn’t want Isaac to see we were laughing at him since this was so innocent. Chris got control faster than I did and responded, “No buddy, Mommy will do that by herself.” Then Grace chips in, “Yeah….cause they’re privacy.” LOL!!! Oh my goodness... it was great! I can’t wait to tell them this story when they are older.

From the time I got home until today I feel like all I have been doing is playing catch up and just trying to get my house back in order and papers under control. I finally feel like things have settled down a bit. However, my little Lukey has turned into a MONSTER!! It’s like he turned into this little terror as Grandma watched him for a week. She noticed it too and was afraid we’d blame her for his behavior. We do. Heehee. Don’t get me wrong, he has always gotten into everything as you can tell by my previous posts, but it just seems like he’s turned it up a notch or two.  My first shower I was really wondering how I was going to manage. I had the baby in his crib and Luke in the bathroom with me. Problem was, I forgot to look the bathroom over to make sure there was nothing Luke could get into before I hopped in the shower. For the most part it was all good. Then at the end of my shower Luke got really quiet. This is not a good sign. “Luke” and “quiet” are not two words that go together. If he’s quiet then he’s into something. So I quickly finished up and opened the shower curtain to see this:

He had gotten my face lotion and was putting it all over his hair. When he saw me open the curtain he says, “Hair…hair.” I guess he sees me put product in my hair and anything that comes out of a bottle must go in the hair. Ahhh yes, the adventure begins.

So all in all things are going well. I feel so incredibly blessed to have four beautiful children! God has been so good to me! Thank you all again for all your prayers. It means so much to us! I'm sure tomorrow I'll have another funny, wild, or crazy thing to tell you all. Until then...be blessed! :-)

Jonathan's 6th day- TESTIFY

So today was quite an interesting day. I got to chat with my doctor for awhile and found out he had an arranged marriage! This intrigued me so much I just drilled him with questions because I’ve never met anyone before whose marriage was arranged. It was very interesting to say the least.

Also, today I think my skin has finally had enough of this hand washing stuff. They have a timer that is set for two minutes for you to wash your hands up to your elbows every time you need to come into the NICU wing. My arms are literally burning right now from so much scrubbing this past week.

Isaac, Grace, and Grandma LOVED baby Jonathan. Isaac and Grace had so many questions. Isaac kept asking if he was doing good. He was real concerned about Jonathan. I think they would have rubbed his hair off if we would have let them.

Grandma got to feed him a bottle and spend some time with him while we all went to eat supper together. She said she had a good talk with Jonathan. It was really sweet. 

 Jonathan is now dressed and in a crib. The only wires on him are the ones to monitor his heart rate and breathing. The only thing we are still struggling right now with is his breathing. He seems to be breathing really fast at times. Until this is normal they won’t discharge him. Right now we are pushing to discharge on Sunday. Please continue to pray with us concerning a Sunday discharge. That his breathing would be normal quickly!! Also he’s a little bit jaundice. Nothing to be concerned about but would like prayer for that to go too.

The nurses are having a shift change right now and I’m listening to one fill the other in on Jonathan. As the nurse on duty was telling the new nurse all the progress Jonathan made today she was just in awe over how much progress he made in just one day. She said, “Wow! When he gets better he gets better!” Now, that’s the testimony I was looking for baby!!!! Oh and the lactation consultant went on and on that she was so shocked that he was going to be going home on Sunday. I was almost starting to feel guilty that he was going to come home so soon from the way she was communicating. She just kept saying, “Wow!” She said usually it takes a lot longer and is a slower process. I was so encouraged.The other thing that was funny that the nurse just said as she told the other nurse was, “When this kids happy, he’s happy. When he’s mad, he’s mad. He’s either one or the other.” I thought, “Oh great…another drama king!”

Lastly, as I mentioned earlier Chris left today with the kids back to Fergus. He’s back there now until me and Jonathan can come home. I struggled today with anxiety more so than I have any other day being here. It’s so funny because even when all this was happening and Jonathan was doing much worse I had peace knowing he was going to be ok. I really wasn’t “worried” about him. I knew the Lord was going to take good care of him and he was going to get better. But today, knowing our discharge date could change just freaks me out.  I don’t know why I’m struggling to trust the Lord in this area. Also, the fact that Chris was leaving was really hard for me too. I was trying not to be anxious about it all day long knowing it was approaching, but I really struggled. I fought back the tears as much as I could after they left but didn’t do so good. I’ll be just fine but it was hard seeing them go knowing I’m here solo from here on out. I know some mom’s/wives would love to be solo this long. I’m not really one of them.  I’ve been trying to take my thoughts captive as the battle goes on. It’s been such a blessing that Chris and I could be together this whole time whenever we’d make trips here. God is so good! I’m so thankful for my Mom who has done most of the grunt work here with my other kids. I'd say she’s pretty amazing considering the only real trauma we had was she bleached Luke's blanket and dressed them in the same exact clothes two days in a row! LOL!

OHH!!! And Jonathan is getting better at nursing! He’s starting to get it. We are still finishing him off with a bottle because he’s just so so tired, and nursing is so much work for him.  Oh and another awesome thing is we are able to get him circumcised here which is going to save us a ton of money! I can’t believe how much cheaper it is here than in Fergus. Tomorrow morning is his big day. If there are any guys reading this I’m sure you’re cringing. My husband is glad he won’t be here to say the least.

Well, that’s about all I can think of for now. I must say the highlight of my day was getting to snuggle with Jonathan today after everyone went home. It just doesn't get any better than that.  One other thing... tonight after Chris left I was thinking about that scripture in James where it says we are to rejoice at the testing of our faith because of what it develops in you. Wow! What a scripture. (I was going to type it in here but I'm being too lazy now) It’s one thing to read it and say, “Ok yeah…that’s good….sure rejoice when things like this happen.” But, it’s another to actually do it in the midst of it. So, tonight that’s what I’ll be doing- practicing rejoicing with my Father. Hopefully I’ll succeed. But if I don’t, there’s always tomorrow. :-)

BIG steps for a little boy!

Ahhh...where do I begin. Well, yesterday we found out that Jonathan's ventilator had been removed and that he transitioned beautifully from it and was ready to start nipple feeding. We changed our plans to get to Fargo earlier. It was the longest trip to Fargo I ever had! I was so excited to see his eyes open, get to hold him, smell him and feed him!
When we got here they told us he was going to stay on the nasal cannula for a little while just so that it wouldn't shock his system. They are slowly weaning him from everything. It's neat to see more and more cords removed from him. As I mentioned they also said he was ready to start nipple feeding. I assumed this meant breast or bottle feeding. But I found out when I got here that wasn't what they meant. They meant bottle. The main concern was the tubes that are going into his belly button are very crucial. If they accidentally come out there's a lot of bleeding etc. So, they were willing to let me try to nurse him but we had to be so cautious with all the junk attached to him. It was very challenging to say the least. The nasal cannula kept falling out and all he really wanted to do was sleep. Any newborn wants to sleep usually instead of eat but they said he's extra tuckered out from just being sick.

We also got to see him open his eyes briefly which was fun as well as cry for the first time since he was born. It was heavenly! I tried nursing again this morning and still didn't have much luck. He'd latch on and then want to sleep. If he was at home I'd use my tricks to get him awake but I'm not able to do that here because of all the cords etc. The main thing though is that he's eating from a nipple. At this time he's getting it from the bottle mainly. But that's ok with me. As long as he's doing it then it's one more step to going home. We can and will continue to work at nursing. I personally am not one of those moms who just LOVES to nurse their children. I personally don't like it very much and the main reason I do it is because I know it is so good for them. It sounds like I'm going to have quite the road ahead of me for the next few weeks until he gets bigger with this feeding stuff. Nursing, then giving him a bottle to make sure he got enough, then pumping. Uggg. Definitely not looking forward to that. On top of it, setting an alarm in the middle of the night to make sure he gets his feeding. Seriously?? I've never done that with any of my kids but they explained to me that he doesn't have a substance that most newborns have (sorry, can't remember the medical term) and he is depleted from it and so that's why I have to do that. (I should have probably re-learned that before I blogged about it eh). But on the bright side at least he'll be HOME! There are parents that I've talked to who have to stay so so so much longer. One mom told me the other day it was her 86th day here. I can't imagine. I have so much to be thankful for. Hearing them refer to my baby as a big baby just cracks me up too. To me he's so little. My littlest one yet. But to them he's like huge compared to all the preemies here.

First time I got to see the back of his head was today! Loved that he had HAIR!

To me Jonathan is completely fine. Everything they are telling me is saying he's fine. But I can't just sneak him out of here. He has to slowly be weaned from everything he was on. Also, they just want to monitor him for a little bit to make sure that he is doing fine on his own.

Here is my first attempt at a video on my blog. Hopefully it works. It's a video of Jonathan's first hiccups...outside the womb that is!! :-)

Today is also a very exciting day because he is getting the lines out of his tummy removed and transferred to a crib! He will get to wear clothes and everything! Sounds so funny to be excited about something so menial but to us it's just exciting to see each little step to being NORMAL! PLUS, this will make nursing easier with less cords to worry about. Also today, Isaac, Grace and Grandma Karan are coming up to see him. I'm looking forward to seeing their faces when they get to touch him for the first time. I'll definitely be posting pictures of that. Chris will be heading back to Fergus with them and will be home for good. I will be here now until Sunday when he gets discharged. I'm really hoping it can be Sunday morning and not Sunday evening when we get to go home. Just knowing that in a few nights everything will be almost normal again is a very relieving thought. I was telling a friend that I feel like I'm in a little bubble right now. I have no idea what's happening in the real world and this has become normal now. Well, we gotta run get lunch before Jonathan's next feeding. Hopefully I can post more pictures tonight.

Jonathan's 4th day- Yeah for progress!

Jonathan got to have his first feeding of breastmilk today! Praying he digests it well so they can continue with them. Also, he is more comfortable today and peeing off some of his fluids that are in his lungs more. His x-rays still show he has fluid in his lungs but it is getting slightly better.  They have also reduced the ventilator again and are slowly trying to wean him. It is looking like this cortosol horomone they are giving him is really helping him. He's making more and more progress. It just seems so SLOW!!!! I just want him to HURRY up and jump through all the hoops he needs to jump through.

Jonathan is more comfortable today as they gave him some medicine to relax him. It's nice to see him sleeping peacefully instead of crying without any sound because of the ventilator. Ugg..that was horrible. It's kind of funny because they have to ask us every day what our "goal" is for the day. I laugh evey time they ask me because to me a "goal" is attainable and something I can work towards and achieve. To to set a goal for my son seems silly. They should really change their wording. LOL!  I understand why they do it though. They want you to keep a positive outlook on things etc. So I try to tell them what they want to hear but the whole thing just cracks me up. Today's goal was that he would be able to tolerate his feedings. Then they say, "Well I think that's a very acievable goal." I just wanna say, "yeah...wonka wonka wonka" or something dorky.

They are also all so happy that we are asking so many questions. They said so many parents just come and look at their babies and that's it. Chris and I totally are learning so much. I think I've learned more medical stuff in 3 days than the past 32 years of my entire life! My doctor was laughing at me because I was trying to repeat back what I would understand he was telling me. I told him I wanted to be able to understand what was happening and to be able to repeat it back to other people as well as know specifically what to pray for.

Today I was encouraged by these scriptures and wanted to share them with you.
"In the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent will He hide me; He will set me high upon a rock." -Psalm 27:5 This is so true. Last night as I cried with my son I felt like the Lord was standing next to me with his arm around my shoulder. Not only am I comforted and secure in Him, but that he sets my feet HIGH upon a rock. Although this wants to move and shake us...and sometimes it feels like it does...HE is still our rock that we can stand on through all this. He causes our feet to not be moved and gives us His wonderful peace. Now I just need PATIENCE for all this to be over SOON!!
Another scripture was:
"And this small and temporary trouble I suffer will bring me a tremendous and eternal glory, much greater than the trouble. For I fix my attention, not on things that are seen, but on things that are unseen. What can be seen lasts only for a time, but what cannot be seen lasts forever." -2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (GNT) This is just such a little blip in life. This is a light and momentary trouble and in the light of eternity this is nothing. It's obviously not what we want but soon enough it will be over. Keeping the eternal perspective is so key for me.

Lastly, Proverbs 4:20-22 "I will listen closely to God's words. I will not let them out of my sight-I will keep them within my heart; for they are life to all who find them and health for the whole body." God's word is bringing life to us and life to Jonathan's little body.

Well, Chris and I are going to head home here shortly and be home with the kids tonight and tomorrow. We'll head up again tomorrow night and spend the night and Friday again depending on how Jonathan is doing. One day at a time.

Quick Follow-up update

Ok so just a quick update. First of all, I think I should not blog at night when I'm so tired and starting to get more emotional. Sorry if that last post was a bit of a downer. I forgot to mention so many other things too. I was so tired I didn't even spell my son's name right! HA! Anyways, one thing I wanted to mention is that Chris and I have just been speaking life over Jonathan and singing and praising the Lord as much as we can. It's amazing how a song can come on the radio and really just minister to us. Yesterday when we were driving up here the song, "I will praise you in the Storm" by Casting Crowns came on the radio. Chris and I turned it up and began singing with it. It was crazy how real the words were to our hearts. The other song that we have been singing over and over to Jonathan as well as when we're in the shower, etc. is, "Our God is Greater." Some of the words are for those that don't know it the chorus goes, "Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God." And that sums it up folks. That's the core of it all. The lyrics are pretty awesome too but I'm sure most of you know the song.

Anyways, onto Jonathan. We are about to head up to see him here shortly and talk to the doctor but we called this morning to see how he did last night and they took him completely off the blood pressure medicine!!! WOOHOO! So now we are going to go talk to the doctor today about the ventilator if he can handle it without it today. I'm thinking it's time!!! Today's going to be a good day...and I mainly know that because I got a lot of sleep finally! LOL! Just bein' real people. :-)

Jonathan's 3rd day- Jesus Loves Me

Well, this morning when I didn't get the quite the report I wanted to hear. Although his fever had gone they had to increase the ventilator again as well as his blood pressure medicine. On top of it all, I started bleeding more than normal and had to go in to the clinic before we left for Fargo. It was quite the adventurous morning. Once we arrived here the doctor told us that he had the thought to check his cortasol (sp?) levels. It's a hormone that the adrenal gland produces that is supposed to help fight when you're sick. And sure enough his levels were too low. So he replenished those hormone levels which he said by 8:00 tonight we should start to see a difference in Jonathan from this. The doctor said he thought this was probably the culprit the whole time. Sure enough today we saw his blood pressure start to return to normal. He is slowly getting weaned off of his blood pressure medicine. He is also at a normal newborn heart rate as well today. It was too high before. So we have some positives in with some disappointments. But, tomorrow is a new day and we are just continuing to believe that his lungs are getting better and better.

My heart broke today as I witness my son cry with no sound. I couldn't hardly take it. Seeing his little arms moving with all the stuff hooked up to him and his face all scrunched up like he was crying...but hearing no sound was just so sad. Taking the cry of a baby for granted is something I will never do again. I'll smile when that ventilator comes out and I get to hear him grunt and even scream. :-) I was pumping at the time this was happening and Chris said, "Danielle, I think you need to get over here as soon as you can." He had been holding his arms down so they weren't ripping cords and flailing everywhere. So as soon as I was done I went over and pet his head, held his little fingers and began to sing through my tears, "Jesus Loves Me" to him. He seemed to calm down when I started singing to him. It was the neatest thing. When I was pregnant with him I would rock Luke every night and sing that song to Luke. I figured it would be familiar to him since Luke sat on him every night as I sang that. It was really neat as I came to the part where it says, "...little ones to Him belong...they are weak but HE IS STRONG." Who would have tought the song 'Jesus Loves Me' would have been so encouraging to hear myself at this time. To remind myself that HE IS STRONG even though my little one is weak is what it was all about.

I also struggled today more so than ever with the thought of, "If I had just listened to the doctor and not pushed so hard we wouldn't be here right now. This is all my fault." I even asked Chris if he was mad at me. If he felt like this was my fault. He didn't feel that way in the least and was so good to remind me that this isn't my fault it's Satan's fault. It's the fact that we don't live in a perfect world. It was hard fighting those thoughts today though.

Isaac made a "baby toy" for Jonathan at school and asked me to give it to him. So I put it on Jonathan for Isaac to see on this picture.

But today I have also been more thankful than ever. It's amazing how thankful I feel at this time. Here are a few of the things I was thanking God for today:
1. That my parents have an apartment in Fargo for us to stay in that's 10 minutes away.
2. That I have such wonderful family and friends to help us with our kids.
3. That I have a strong godly husband to be by my side
4. For our cell phones that have enabled us to do so much more and be such a blessing to us at this time. I even got to use the GPS today and hear the lady talk to me. Sounds corny but it was so fun! Teehee!
5. For the support of prayers we are receiving
6. Chris wants me to let you all know that he was thankful today for his hat when it was hailing outside. HA HA!!
7. For my breast pump!!!
8. The fact that I have very little to no pain right now!
9. This could be so much worse! The fact that I have a baby who is alive and not as bad as so many out there is so great! It's funny because they refer to him as a bigger baby (compared to the preemies here) but to me he's so little. All my other kids were in the 7 and 8 lb range so to have a 6 lb range seems so little to me.

Anyways, I could go on and on wiht my thankful list but I need to wrap it up here. I just wanted to give you all an update on how everything's going. I'll try to update again tomorrow night.  Thank you again for your continued prayers. We love you!
Danielle

Jonathan Patrick Elliott...birth, day 1 & 2

FINALLY…I’m at a computer and can tell you all some of the details you’ve been asking me about. Just to warn you this is coming from an exhausted mama so if what I’m writing makes no sense…just know that’s probably why. :-) (Oh and I’m not that great at condensing)

So this past weekend my husband was at a men’s retreat at Inspiration Point. Saturday evening I was feeling kind of crampy but just thought nothing too much of it. After 8:00 when I had put the kids to bed that’s when things really started happening. Chris had told me that their last meeting was supposed to end at 8:45. By that time things felt pretty intense and I really wanted him to know I thought he needed to come home. Chris had took his phone apart during the meeting because it went off and he couldn’t figure out how to shut his alarm off. So his phone was useless. But about 9:00, he said he just felt like he was supposed to leave early even though the meeting hadn’t ended. So he did. Eventually he got my messages and called me to tell me he was on his way. By this time my mom had come over to watch the kids. So when Chris got home he left his car running and we headed to the hospital. The whole time he’s telling me that he can’t believe that I’d actually be in labor and that he thinks it’s false or whatever. I said, “if it is then they are giving me something for pain so I can sleep tonight!!” The thing is, I prayed that I would go early in labor. I’ve had c-section or been induced with my others because I went straight up to my due date and over in the past. I just wanted so badly to not have to be induced and to just go into labor on my own. God heard my prayer!! Things seemed to be moving quickly at first and then as I got settled into the hospital things moved very slowly. I labored all through the night and finally at 8:00 they were willing to give me some pitocin to get things moving faster as I was so exhausted. And YES I had my epidural at about 3:30 in the morning. It was great in the fact that it helped with the pain but a bummer in the fact that it caused my blood pressure to drop and much vomiting. But we don’t need to go into all my labor details at this point. Basically to jump to the next main event when it came time to push on my first contraction I gave it all I had and he came out pretty quick. The doctor told me to not push so hard. I thought, “What? Who’s ever heard of not pushing hard when you’re having a baby. I gotta get this thing out of me.” Oh how I wished I would have listened. Here I was all proud and thinking I was this great and mighty Shee-ra girl in getting this thing out so quick. One of the key things for the baby is to get all the fluid squished out of their little lungs as they go through the birth canal. To think that I could have possibly prevented all this if I would have just listened to the doctor better made me so sad to think about. But I cannot and will not live in the past.

Anyways, I barely got to hold him and see him as they whisked him away to put him on oxygen for a bit as he was struggling somewhat with his breathing.

My brief time of holding him. Nurse standing by with the oxygen.

They told me probably a couple of hours. No big deal right? Well, a couple of hours has turned out to be so much more. By 7:30 that night a nurse warned me that the doctor was coming in and that transferring Jonathan to Fargo had been mentioned. I started bawling at this point. I hadn’t slept in 2 days and was exhausted. I so wanted to respond differently but I didn’t. The thought of this was not what I wanted to hear and to think I was going to be separated even more so than I was already from my baby was even harder to hear. They Sanford Care team (old Merit care) came down by ambulance because it was too foggy for the chopper. Their team prepped him and worked on him for over an hour.

This is what they put him in for the ambulance transfer.

I asked if I could go with and they made it sound very doubtful because usually you stay in the hospital for 24 hours after giving birth before you can be discharged. They said they’d call the doctor and try though. They came back so excited to tell me that my doctor said I could go. Nothing made me love my doctor more than that moment right there I tell ya! So we went home grabbed a few things for the night and were on the road. Jonathan was born at 11:08 a.m. (Sunday, March 20^th) and by 11:08 p.m. we were on the road to Fargo.  We checked in with the NICU unit and got the basics and needed to crash ASAP. My parents have an apartment in Fargo that is 10 minutes from Sanford that we could stay in. That bed was the most welcomed bed I’ve ever had. By 1:30 in the morning on Monday we were finally in bed. My first night of sleep in over 48 hours. Ahhhh.

We were told that if Jonathan had trouble breathing through the night they would have to put him on a ventilator. At this point he had a fever and his blood pressure wasn’t right either. We got the call at 6:30 in the morning that he had been put on the ventilator. I really don’t remember much of my conversation with the doctor because I was pretty out of it. We got another call at 8:30 saying that they were going to try giving him this fluid stuff in his lungs (serafectin or something like that? Sorry, I don’t remember all the medical terms) that was supposed to help keep his air sacs open.  We slept as much as we could and arrived at the NICU by 11:00 a.m. today. By the time we arrived they said that he was doing better. He was at 60% on the ventilator when they started but was already down to 30%.

Here are a few pictures from our day today:

These pictures make him look kind of chunky because of all the tubes but really he's just a peanut! :-)

They are slowly trying to wean him from this ventilator and after that he will have to be on the CPAP.  He still has a slight fever and blood pressure isn’t quite normal yet. The x-rays this afternoon showed that he was looking slightly better than when he first arrived. So he is making some progress. They put feeding tubes straight into his belly button and started feeding him this afternoon with a bag of fluids filled with stuff he needs.

OK so there’s the bare bones of what’s happening with Jonathan. Emotionally I am a different person after a night of sleep. Chris and I are at total peace with knowing he’s going to be just fine. It’s the whirlwind and drama of everything that makes it challenging and not quite knowing how to plan things. If I didn’t have other kids to deal with this would be a night and day different experience for me.  

I am so incredibly thankful for so much right now. For the little things it would be stuff like the fact that we are so thankful for our new phones we got-oh what a blessing they have been.  The fact I was able to sleep on my tummy for the first time. AHHh…bliss! But in all reality the most important thing we are thankful for is that we serve a might big God and nothing is impossible for Him. We are fully expecting good things. We are truly learning what it means that God is our ROCK. To know it is one thing, but to experience it is another. I am amazed at the supernatural strength that comes from our hope in our God and knowing He is our firm foundation which causes us to not be moved and to have the peace that only my Father can give us.  I’m also so thankful for all of you. Thinking of all of you puts me into tears. You mean so much to us and your words, encouragement, and prayers really touch our hearts. I love the reminders of truth that we have that some of you sent me. THANK YOU!

Another thing I’m excited about is something a friend shared with me on the phone. She said, “You know Danielle, I’m just praying and thinking too that you know maybe there’s someone there that you are supposed to talk to that’s going through something like this that you can help.” For me, that was such a turning point. DUH?!? Oh my goodness. WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE?!? We have been telling all the doctor’s and nurses that we are so excited that we serve a big God and are expecting good things to happen in his little life. That people are praying and we are going to see good things. Our main doctor talked to us for a long time and I got the 3 main things out of him that we wanted to see happen which I posted on facebook earlier. (blood pressure, temp, and ventilator) Anyways, I told him we wanted to know specifically what to pray for because we were Christians and believed that prayer changes things. He kind of grinned. I flat out heard myself asking him straight out, “Are you a Christian?” He said he wasn’t but he believed in prayer. I wanted to know if he was a Christian that I wanted him praying for my lil man when he was working on him. As we were driving home tonight I was giddy with excitement over the opportunities to bring life to where we will be and the people we are going to be coming in contact with. I was so thankful my friend said this as it brings such a bigger picture to this whole thing and so much more purpose.

Yes, there are times when today I’ve fought back the tears. (Yesterday…not so much…there was no fighting tears I was a basket case with NO SLEEP!!) Things like going out to eat and hearing the baby cry in the restaurant and wanting my baby with me, and not being able to nurse right now, not being able to hold and cuddle and smell him. But the funny thing is…what put me over is knowing Isaac is supposed to dress up this week for spirit week…finding a costume of what he wants to be when he grows up for tomorrow is what ended up putting me over! HA!  Who woulda thought? Geeps…  I’ve been doing so good the whole day and then a dumb costume puts me over. Du-MB.

My main desires in all this are that God be glorified and that this goes quickly. I want so badly for this to not just be normal but for the unsaved doctor to see that God is working in our little boy and for the rest of the medical staff to just be amazed and know that it is GOD working in him…not just that “time” is going to make him better. Does that make sense? So those are the main desires of my heart. God’s grace is here for us for whatever we need and I’m so thankful now more than ever that I have this beautiful gift called hope, AND a very good reason to trust in a wonderful God I serve. I can’t imagine how people go through something like this without the personal love of our God on their side or the beautiful body of Christ to hold them up. Wow. I’m so stinkin blessed!

Again, we so appreciate your prayers and love. You are so beautiful and we’ll try to keep you posted via facebook and my blog for now on our prayer requests as they arise. With much love, Danielle

Cheerio Heaven!

I really don't have much to say about this post. Luke somehow got a hold of the Cheerios box and as I was getting up to grab it from him, of course he dumped it all over the living room floor and quickly layed down to pig out. Isaac runs over and says, "Don't worry Mom...we can eat them!" He was certain to reassure me several times that they wouldn't have a problem helping me out by eating them off the floor. I let them eat a few and said, "I'm going to go get the vacuum." Isaac pleaded, "No Mom, don't get the vacuum!" Just now he said to me in a silly way, "Look weaselly, wisely Mom...they're almost eaten up!!!" Where he got those words...I know not.

You would think they were starving children with the way they were pigging out!

Where's Waldo?

Pop Quiz Question for you:
Which of the following things will get neglected if Danielle is trying to accomplish these all at once?
a) Making Supper
b) Doing the dishes
c) Breaking up fights
d) Keeping Luke out of trouble

Now I know which one your thinking SHOULD get neglected if all of these are happening at the same time. However if you guessed "d" you're correct!

I really thought I was doing well people. Luke was less than 10 feet from me as I was washing up the dishes. He was in our closet in our kitchen. He likes to frequently open the door and pull the broom out and pretend to sweep the floor. Which, other than getting cracked in the head a few times, I really don't mind if he does that. So when I heard him in the closet I assumed that's what he was doing...trying to get the broom. I know you're shaking your head now saying, "Doesn't this girl ever learn her lesson?" If so, you'd be happy to join my husband who I'm sure probably thinks this on a regular basis.

Back to the closet...everything was great until I heard a crinkle sound. I thought, "um... why am I hearing a crinkle sound? I should not be hearing this. I should be hearing the clunking of the broom hitting everything in sight." So I walk 5 steps (yes I literally just went and measured my steps..hee hee) over to look in the closet and this is what I saw:

Was any one else's first thought, "Where's Waldo?"

OK, so the closet is already in need of organization anyways. After this- it's in DIRE need of organization. The crinkle sound I heard was Luke pulling the bag of chips out of the box. Why I did not hear more...I know not. Apparently I was in, "Danielle's World" as my husband so fondly likes to sing to me frequently to the tune of "Elmo's world."  You know the, "La-la-la-la...la-la-la-la...Danielle's World." I guess the above a, b, and c were the focus for me at the time and "d" seemed to be doing just fine. When I first looked in the closet all I could see was his little head poking out and he was practically laying down. It was quite humorous. By the time I got the camera he had managed his way out more.

So, this closet. This WONDERFUL closet. Guess what? It's probably going to remain this way until AFTER I have the baby. 5 weeks. Yep. Cause big-o-belly me doesn't fit very well there and it's pretty uncomfortable to be in tight spaces at this point in time...especially bending over! Until then, I'm sure I'll have more exciting events to share because I just didn't waddle fast enough to stop my little blessing from getting into SOMETHING! But again, it's moments like these that continue to cause me to laugh through life. Yes, it's a bit irritating, but honestly, if you can't enjoy moments like this then I suggest not having kids. :-)